


A Hundred Indecisions

by wehavefound



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27109708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wehavefound/pseuds/wehavefound
Summary: The house was a tragic place these days, made even more despondent by the sight of his love curled unresponsive for days on end. Jasper couldn't stand it. But he cares for Alice's misery more than his own and so he stays by her side as she mourns
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15
Collections: Jalice Week 2020





	A Hundred Indecisions

**Author's Note:**

> Second piece for gapfillers day! Let me know what y'all think!

Across from him at the kitchen table Esme smiled sadly over a bouquet of slightly wilted flowers. It was unlike her to allow them to be so unsightly but she was rather unlike herself these days. All of them were. Even Alice. Especially Alice actually, considering Edward was nowhere to be found. The house in New York had all appearances kept up of course, they would never be so careless as to ignore their duties but the little things were all wrong—wilting flowers in the kitchen, no pleasant smelling homemade candles erasing the harsh chemical smell of cleaners, no roses planted outside. Esme herself showed no interest in freshening the vase even as she stared at it aimlessly. 

The house was a burdening place to be these days. The sadness never lifted, never wavered for even a moment. There were other emotions of course. Guilt. Despair. Interest. Lust. But all were so woven through by the pervasive sadness it drove him to madness. The knowledge that all this pain and sorrow was a result of his weakness kept him inside, easing the burden as much as he can. How could he seek the refuge of solitude knowing his own weakness was what brought Alice so much pain and suffering? She was so rarely sad usually, finding contentment in their peaceful life and her future sight. It was so unlike her and yet, he had caused this. She was curled upon a kitchen chair next to where he stood, staring at nothing and yet unmistakably in the present.

“Alice, would you like to help me pick a new trellis for the garden in the Montana house?” Esme asked. Alice did not respond. Not to her visions, not to Esme, not to anyone these days. It was difficult to block out only the visions of Bella she sought to escape from without blocking out all of them, focusing on the blank nothingness she so rarely sought out before Jasper had uprooted them yet again.

“Alice,” he said, bringing a hand up to rest on her arm. “Let’s go for a walk.” Still no response. But it was easier to help her depression out when it was only them amongst the trees and he could breathe in peace for a moment.

After a pause that would be brief for a human but seemed an eternity for the vampires Alice finally stirred, pushing out of her curled up ball to press her face into Jasper’s shoulder, arms hanging loosely at her side. He stooped slightly to gather her up in one arm, pressing his other hand against the bare skin of her neck to hold her closer and push comfort and happiness as much as he could. Esme seemed to crumple in despair as he did so and Jasper knew he had hurt her just as much as Alice, continued to hurt her. Not only did he take Bella from them, who was by all means a part of her family, he took Alice from her too.

He felt horrible but there would be time still to soothe his adoptive mother once his love was responsive once more. Her refusal to interact with the world was a relatively common phenomenon these days, heartbreaking as it was to see, to feel. He had created this mess but so too could he alleviate the sorrow he had created, difficult as it was.

After a half hour’s silent journey into the woods he began to slow down. Poor Alice had not yet moved a millimeter the entire journey into the deep woods of the national park, out where even the rangers did not venture, and she remained still even now as Jasper settled her down on a rock outcropping and sat beside her. She remained still as Jasper floated contentment and love and excitement, remained still as some particularly foolhardy deer ventured out upwind from them, as the morning sun grew into the evening’s dark shadows. 

“I miss her,” Alice finally whispered into the crook of his neck as the full moon shined above them. “I wasn’t looking ahead enough.” Oh Alice, how could she ever blame herself? As though she had not diverted many a disaster and saved dozens of human lives herself. Her gift was strong but not all powerful.

“This isn’t your fault, my love. You can’t see everything, no matter how you burden yourself to try.”

“I know that it’s an inherent part of our nature but we overcome so much I thought….” And here she trailed off, answering something Jasper had not yet said, or even realized he had decided to say. 

“You know why our kind is usually so young when we’re changed, vampires just aren’t capable of being around a human for too long. No matter how badly they want them to be changed. Your vision, it’s still there is it not?” He had felt the mate-bond between Edward and Bella. Alice still saw the vision of Bella changed at not much older than she was at present. As devastating as this was now, they would return to Forks soon. Edward’s vastest misadventure was foolhardy in the extreme but then, he only left because Jasper himself had lost control. If that delayed her change for a few months well, he had only himself to blame for the current despair that so plagued his mate.

“It’s still there. But sometimes when I seek her out to see if she’s okay she’s just… gone. I promised Edward I wouldn’t but I worry so. Her future is still entangled with ours. First I didn’t catch her bleeding, now I can’t even see her at all for long times.” His poor love. She walked in the future so often that her devastation over losing Bella was magnified; not being able to see her in person or trust her sight. Losing Edward as well, who she was so close to. He opened his mouth to comfort her but she spoke again before he could.

“I agree, you’re probably right that this could be from Edward’s refusal to choose. I’ll call him again today but I can already see he won’t answer. Thank you, my love.” She rose of her own volition for the first time in many many hours, never breaking her contact with Jasper as she did so. It warmed his heart to see her mood break and he knew how it pained her so to admit her vision’s weaknesses. At least now he knew why she kept slipping into nothingness, so focused on a vision that would not come. It had been this way for weeks now, her eyes still focused in the present but unresponsive and still beyond the most minor movements.

At least now he knew how to fix it. He’d run to Brazil himself it it helped. He’d drag Edward back to Bella right now if it would fix anything. In the meantime, all he could do was hold Alice tight and soothe her fits of despair and so he followed her, hand in hand, into a future no longer visible.


End file.
